we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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