It's Friday. Sex?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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