haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
