you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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