Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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