I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
