Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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