I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
