The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
