Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
