he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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