guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize