he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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