The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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