OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
