OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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