You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
