im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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