Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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