yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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