we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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