Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
