I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
