I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize