Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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