I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
