She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
