Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
