somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
