i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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