I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk is not a location!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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