Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize