What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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