She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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