We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
