dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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