Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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