I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have feelings that need drinking.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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