So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
