peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize