Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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