I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
