Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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