I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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