D3 body, D1 cock
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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