You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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