It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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