i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I could fuck to npr.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
