Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
