Its about making memories worth repressing
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
