took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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