google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
