SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
did you just send me my own nude
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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