Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
