i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
