Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
