so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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