im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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