I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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