Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
