I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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