So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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